Hot Selena Gomez is Cheating on Justin Bieber With Shia LaBeouf

Someone better scoop out that Maple Fetus and make room for THE BEEF.

Despite literally risking life and limb for a ride on the Christ Coaster, Selena Gomez apparently goes goo-goo eyed for Shia LaBeouf and doesn’t care who knows it as evidenced by a video of her meeting him backstage at The Today Show that she tweeted to her six million followers. You know, sometimes we forget these are just teenage kids who are just as fickle as my girlfriends at that age who caused me to hate and distrust all women. Granted, I didn’t have enough money to purchase soldiers of fortune and my own island to flee extradition, I’m sure this’ll turn out fine. Because if there’s one thing I know about teenagers, it’s that they make careful, well-thought out decisions with non-permanent consequences. And they love Pogs. Can’t get enough of ‘em.